The Dream
by SparkleHarmonia
Summary: I'd die for you if you'd live for me, I don't really care since we're livin' the dream . Basically what I, looking back, want season two to be. All the epic characters, but a ten-times better plot.


The Dream:

Summary:

I'd die for you if you'd live for me, I don't really care since we're livin' the dream~. Basically what I, looking back, want season two to be. All the epic characters, but a ten-times better plot.

**(A/N: WARNING- this particular chapter features a very emotional Ciel, and a… less than happy Sebastian in le flashback in **_**italics **_**which takes up most of the chapter. Very emotional. BUT READ IT ANYWAY, because I describe Sebastian as a smexy full-demon!) **

Ch.1: The reality

It never struck me until this very moment how much I affect the people around me. I sit here in this boat, wondering about them. Lizzie, Mey-Rin, Finny, Bard… I couldn't list everyone if I tried. What would they do if I left without a trace? Would they be okay if I wasn't there to protect them?

My contract with Sebastian states, "I wish to avenge my dead family and protect my living one" but… my only living relative besides my fiancé died. By blood, there is nothing left to protect. I have done everything I set out to do, technically. There's no reason for me to open my mouth, and ask questions. To try and weasel my way out of this. Everyone else Sebastian had contracts with tried, and every single one failed. But I still take a breath.

"Sebastian… what do you think defines a family. Is it a name? A bloodline?" There is a moment of silence before I receive my answer. "Young master, I do believe that family has a different definition to everyone. I consider my cats my family, but we are of no blood relation. Is there anything particular that is troubling you on the subject?"

"Just the usual… I'm worried about everyone. Lizzy can't defend herself as well as I'd like, and technically she's supposed to get the company and the power when I die. She couldn't run it if she tried. Mey-Rin, Bard, and Finny will lose their jobs most likely… Lizzy won't keep them around for long. I feel like I'm the glue keeping a world together, and I don't want it to fall apart just because I'm not there. But no one else can do it!"

"Master, I think you are starting to understand your own interpretation of family now." I feel my hands start to tremble a bit, "but what will happen?"

The boat suddenly stops, and Sebastian puts a hand on my shoulder. He pulls my into a lying position, and removes my eye patch. "Close your eyes, it's time to sleep Master." I do as I am told. My throat gets a little dry, and my heartbeat picks up as I hear Sebastian's wings flutter as he changes forms, "S-Sebastian… can you call me Ciel, just this once. Please…" a single tear leaks from my sapphire eye.

I feel a thick, sweet smoke fill my lungs, a drug? I guess he's trying to make this easy on me. Physically, anyway. Emotionally I don't think I'm ready for anything at all.

"Sweet dreams Ciel." A thick, raspy version of the voice I know so well whispers in my ear as I lose consciousness. "Wait.. One more thing… you aren't like you said… I think…" but it's gone, before I could say what I firmly believed.

XXX

Warmth welcomes me as I lie in silence. I would attempt to speak, but I admit being afraid of not receiving an answer. Especially because this warmth is reminiscent of summer, and last I checked it was fall.

But… I hear water. I must be somewhere… how foolish was I to think I'd be nowhere. But still… I am apprehensive to observe my surroundings, because they might not be as pleasant as they sound. Even though I hear whispers, who knows what the actual people look like. Or what they are doing.

"Do… do you think he'll wake up today?" I high-pitched, distinctly female voice asks. It sounds familiar, but my mind is too foggy to match it to a name. "It's been practically a year since he opened his eyes…" she seems to cry.

Are they talking about me? Have I simply slept this long, to feel the warm sunlight? Or is this some horrible prank? Or have I gone to a world in my own mind? An endless dream, how ironic would that be.

"I hope it's today!" an excited male voice replies, "I want Master Ciel to see the new house we've been working so hard on! Wouldn't that be a treat and a half Miss Lizzy?" Finny… Lizzy… maybe I am in an endless dream.

"Finny… Lizzy… am I alive?" I whisper, forcing my eyes open to a sky, as bright and blue as my untainted eye. "CIEL!" a multitude of voices chorus, and I sit up with a start to see Sebastian right where I last saw him; piloting a boat.

Lizzy pops up between us, "of course you are silly!" she bubbles over with glee, "If you weren't, Sebastian wouldn't be either." She adds deviously. I look to Finny, as well as the others, on the other boat.

"And don't you dare say it wouldn't happen; we'd find a way!" Bard continues. Mey-Rin nods feverishly, "That we would! No one's taking our precious little boy away, no way no how!" I sigh, how idiotic the notion was. I would be taken away, some way, somehow.

"Mey-Rin… as much as I hate to say it-" "They're right master, you had a clear notion in your head and just in time. So, I decided to bend the rules a bit. Doing things conventionally is so boring."

This has got to be a joke! Is that even allowed?

_But he would and you know it. And you know you don't mind it. _

I try to avoid that little voice in my head… but I know it's right. I heard something not meant for my ears that fateful night, and saw something not meant for my eyes. Sebastian told me to close my eyes… but why would I listen to a servant?

"_You do so much for that child. It's disgusting, just like you." The angel laughs. I force my eyes downward, afraid on what I would see. "He's a human! Their lives are puny and worthless, contract or no." Sebastian growls at the notion, and a single black feather falls into my field of vision. I clench my eyes shut, trying to block out the chaos around me. _

"_No life is pathetic, except maybe yours, you sadistic excuse for an angel. Why the fuck am I doing your job?" that strange, raspy version of my butlers voice accuses, and I listen to his victim struggle against him, "And you have no right to say those things about my master. I chose him for a reason. If I was capable of dying I'd die for him. He is worth more than that stupid contract… I only wish he'd figure it out for himself." _

_I feel a surge of emotions… Sebastian doesn't even want my soul? What am I worth? A friendship? This makes no sense. In a strange, knowingly fruitless attempt for answers, I open my eyes. There, standing, facing in a way so I can see him but he can't see me is the real Sebastian. _

_Moments earlier, he told me to avert my eyes, that his true form is hideous. The angel seemed to agree. But… the eyes they are looking from must not work like mine, for all I see is beauty. Dark, crow like wings erupts from his back, his shirt ripped to absolute shreds. I can see every rippling muscle on his unhuman stomach. Fangs point out of his mouth, dripping with the blood of his prey, directly below blood red eyes glowing like smoldering ashes. Black tattoo like marks run up is barren shoulders, to his neck, down his arms. Claws, again with the dripping blood, lie where perfectly trimmed nails once were. His hair was flung in ebony spikes, some strands reaching down to the thin, tight black pants with the spiked belt oh-so-similar to the one Grell once showed me to prove he went forward in time hanging asymmetrically from only one belt loop. And to complement that array of things, heeled boots with all sorts of spikes from his knees down, where he stands proudly in an ever growing pool of- you guessed it –blood. But there is only one imperfection… his face. He seems absolutely disgusted with himself. _

_It's a sight I (sadly) will not likely see again, for I can only assume he doesn't want to be gawked at, so I burn it into my memory forever. I will dream of it, such inhuman perfection, marred by such a human thing as self-hatred. My only wish right now is to call out. To tell Sebastian what I am feeling, to make him feel the way he should about himself. He always does that sort of thing for me, when I feel short, or embarrassed about my damn eye patch. I never once thought someone so strong and confident would see himself in such a demeaning way. But then again, I only felt short because people were taller than I. I only hated my eye patch because I was the only person with one. Maybe he just looks different than other demons, or they all just collectively agree they are hideous. If it's the latter, I may have to hold a support group later. _

_But for now, I simply cry. Because I know I can't help him. My life is just a speck of time. Despite what he may say I am just a human. I will live and die. But I don't want to suffer anymore. I won't be able to handle it. Tonight will be the night. _

"Damn it… now I have to life with knowing all this time… I'm a horrible person." The group seems to react strangely. "Whatever do you mean Ciel?" Lizzy asks. "I mean… I stuck my nose where it didn't belong… and not I have to live with the fact that I can't even help the people around me." I look up at Sebastian, "I… you're really selfish you know that! Why don't you ever just let down your pride and ask for help?! I chose that night because I knew I failed. I was supposed to keep everyone safe, and happy! But I couldn't even repay all the favors you show me Sebastian!"

He just sits there, "Master… what are you talking about?" I feel tears well up inside my eyes, and my voice goes to a whisper as I practically climb in his lap. I speak to him and him only, "…I saw you… I saw your reaction to yourself. You almost cried. I know that's not the part you were concerned about me seeing, but that's what affected me. I'm s-supposed to be a leader, the one who t-takes care of the rest. B-b-but the person who was closest to me was the unhappiest."

The tears spill over and I bury my face in my hands. "I'm so weak… crying like this."

Lizzy wraps her arms around my waist, "People who cry aren't weak. People why cry have just been strong for too long. Things are getting better from now on Ciel, I promise."

**(A/N: So much emotion! I promise Ciel will be a lot more in character next chapter. I just tried to be realistic; even Ciel would get a bit emotional if he found out Sebastian had that little self-esteem. I practically cried writing the last part, because I feel like that every day. I feel like I can never keep anyone happy, and no matter what they always fall to THAT side of things. But then I write about it, and it's fixed. ANYWAY, I feel like I added a lot of depth to both Sebastian and Ciel as characters. I stand by the notion that the stronger you act, the weaker you are and vice-versa because the people with the fewest weaknesses are affected by those weaknesses more than anyone else could be. ) **


End file.
